Younger Called... this is LONG, sorry :-(

Hmmm... So I got to work (late) this morning. I did a couple of morning routine things... check the email, fill up the water bottle, and check my "list" for my day. I walked out to the common area for a second and heard my phone ring. I didn't rush back b/c it wasn't my work phone, but my personal cell. I checked my missed call and it was a number I didn't know. When that happens, I usually decide that they'll leave a message if it's that important or call back later. Well, about 2 seconds later, I got a call back. I knew who it was before answering the phone. The only person who calls me OVER and OVER until I pick up the phone (her max is like 3 times b/c she knows I leave my phone laying around) is Younger. Yup. I answered and sure enough it was her. She said, Do you know who this is? I said "of course". I mean REALLY, how many moms/stepmoms forget their kids' voice?? It's not like it changed when she went through puberty. Anyway, I was on the phone for.... drum roll, please..... 48 minutes. That's the longest that I've talked to Younger since February (4 months BEFORE she was moved out of our house). I was pretty proud of myself because when she started calling, I kept the conversations to 5 minutes. She first called in the first week of June to "say hi" and I didn't answer. I called her back 2 days later and spoke with her for 5 min. The longest time I've been on the phone with her (until today) is 18 minutes. I'm not OCD, I'm just a number person... I happen to remember really stupid stuff like that. :-)

The conversation was fine. I guess she's no longer upset with me for the "thug talk" comment. Plus, she spoke English to me today instead of thug. She actually started speaking "thuggish" and caught herself and corrected herself. WOWOW! So, that's progress. Anyway, I gave her the usual updates. I used to hold the fun stuff that we're doing back (I didn't want her to think I was rubbing things in... ie... you're gone and now we're having the time of our lives... type thing), but this time I told her about camping and jetskiing and Older, Ed, and Shaun. I didn't make it sound snotty or anything, just a "this is what we've been up to" update. I think she still felt a little bad, but that's on her... not me.

Highlights... she called our house "home" several times (she called BM's house just that... BM's house, not home). She referred to me as her Bonus Mom (hasn't done that in AGES!) again. She's being more realistic about the Navy thing. She's starting to do PT. She's still clean and sober. She's still working and looking for better jobs. She said she's going to apply on Friday for a more steady (9-5 type) job. She's reaching out slowly but surely.

Younger said she was on post the other day having lunch at the PX (I can walk to the PX from my office in about 1.5 minutes) and she thought about stopping by. She's been here before after she got home from the Program, so she knows exactly where I am. She said the only reason she didn't stop by to say hi is because she didn't think she could get it. It's a valid point. I had to sign her in and out every time she came to work with me. I work in a Secret Clearance (minimum clearance) to Top Secret building, so you can't just let anyone in. She did say that when she had lunch at the PX, she was looking around the whole time hoping to spot me or her dad. We were, of course, at work when she had lunch at 3 in the afternoon, but it was still an interesting comment.

She also brought up that she's starting to do PT on Thursdays. She said she needs to pick up her running shoes from her mom's. Background to that... we joined a gym right around the time Younger came home from the Program. Since I was in the Army running all the time, I know the importance of a good pair of running shoes... as does her dad. So, we didn't over spend on a nice pair, but we got her a really good pair of running shoes. She'd been running in the program with not-so-great shoes. Anyway, after she said the comment about picking up her shoes, I said, well, you have a good pair of running shoes and they are already broken in so you should be in good shape wearing them. She said, "yeah, I do have good shoes, thanks to you." I responded by saying, "it's not thanks to me. We take care of each other in a family and it's important to have good shoes to run in." I got a "yeah". Then the subject changed.

She also asked for my parents' numbers so that she could call and say hi to them. She actually asked if she was allowed to at first, then asked for their numbers. AND THEN, she actually called my mom. My mom was worried first (you know a mom... oh my goodness why is the prodigal child calling me and what happened to my daughter... hehe), then she was afraid Younger was calling her for money. Hehe! Anyway, it was a fine conversation. About 5-10 minutes long and that's all. My mom said Younger asked to speak to my dad, but my dad was on a work call. So, Younger asked when she could call back and talk to my dad. I hope she does because he'd be a good person to talk to. My dad ROCKS! :-)

So, then Younger asks me for some help for a plan of hers after payday. She'd like me to get all of Hubby's golf stuff together in his car, and somehow send him up to some golf course to meet Younger (without telling Hubby what's going on) so she can surprise him and take him golfing. She can drive the cart, he can ride along and they can have a "good old time". There are several problems with this "plan". The first is... Hubby and I are still VERY hurt with how she treated us. (For example, Hubby lost a kidney in May and was in the Vanderbilt Trauma Ward and the phone call I got was asking about how Younger's going to get her prom dress if I'm at the hospital, not "how's dad?". Shit like that.) Second, I'm not about to blindside my husband with a surprise visit from his daughter that I had to twist his arm to go see the (first and) last time we saw her. The other problem... It's not going to be a "good old time". We're hurt, this situation sucks, we taught her better than this and everything's NOT FINE! Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about this last part because I don't (based on convo's with Hubby) think he's ready for something like that... all the while "keeping it a surprise". I'm going to talk to my counselor about it this evening. I didn't respond immediately after Younger told me her brilliant plan and she asked if I was there still. I told her I was processing the information. I told her we'd have to talk more about it later.

So... I've made this like 10000x longer than I planned, but my fingers and brain kept right on going. So, hopefully you didn't fall asleep reading :-) I hope I wasn't too confusing. I won't be surprised if I was because I'm still a little bit confused. There seemed to be a lot of "I'm doing fine", a lot of missing home, she didn't sound happy. She sounded like she was reaching out. I just need to gain some maturity and see if I can be the adult in this situation or be a second grader. I also am afraid I might be setting myself up for failure. But, hey! She's already crushed my heart a couple times... why not one more go around?!?! :-) Feedback/comments are welcome. :-)

Thanks for reading!