It took a whopping 26 hours for WW 8000 to break out. I am soo discouraged. If you don't like cussing, stop reading now because I'm seriously pissed/hurt/angry/confused... any emotions in between!
Ok, so for the first 20 hours, things were going well. Younger came home, cooked dinner last night.. didn't abuse the phone... all that I listed about last night and this morning.
We've been planning on going to this home shelter place since Sunday. Younger through off the plans HUGELY. She broke her agreement. Her agreement was to be home, we'd get home from our errands, get everything loaded up in the truck for tonight, pick up the GF, and head to help at the shelter place. Well, she wasn't home. She had to meet up with Hubby at some point. She showed up at home with a HUGE attitude. Some bullshit about her permit. We took her permit away in March due to legal liability and we weren't willing to risk that legal liability. We've had her permit ever since. In TN, when a parent signs for a minor to get a permit, just because they turn 18 doesn't take the liability of the parent away until the minor/18 y/o get's their license. Hmmm... I have a great idea. Let's start the biggest argument on the face of the earth over symmantics. I'm soooo sick of this shit already, I'm not even kidding!
We didn't get anything done but planning and talking (which was pretty good) about the project we're attempting to help out on. (The project is a shower/bathroom for a homeless charity in our local area) We came home unsuccessful. That sucked. From there, the suck continued. Younger asked me to come outside with her to speak about the incident (permit incident where she became SERIOUSLY disrespectful and loud... in front of the GF) that happened prior to leaving for the homeless place. We had a good conversation... she took accountability for her poor choice this evening (oh, by the way, this was AFTER i bandaged her hurt hand... she hurt it punching a wall... good f-ing idea!... WTH?) and things were going well. Whatever. Then the conversation started getting into the taxi/GF/Church/Sunday stuff that I was writing about in my earlier post. HOLY FREAKING CRAP! Apparently, this girl, whom she's KNOWN for 7 f-ing weeks, is more family than us. GF/Sunday issue aside, Younger nit-picked the shit out of the issue with Hubby and the permit. It was a disaster. This shit happens one more time... she's out on her ass. I don't give an F anymore. She's going to F up... she can do it outside of our household. We are sick of the fighting, arguing, late night phone calls to the counselor. I'm done! It's only been 26 freaking hours.
With the counselor's help, we agreed to allow her to run away from her freaking issues THIS TIME. If she ever leaves this house again without resolving a disagreement/argument... she'll find her shit on the curb. We made this more than clear. We also made clear to her that her GF of 7 weeks is NOT a part of our family. If she wants to work on our family, GF is not present/left out. I don't care. GF is a nice girl, but she's not my girl. I'm not a fucking taxi. I'm not a Holiday Inn. I'm done with this shit. Seriously, if it happens again, she's out on her ass. It's absolute bullshit that she's home 26 hours and we already made an "emergency" call to our counselor. BTW, our counselor is AWESOME b/c her fiance called me to let me know she was on another call and would call back as soon as possible. :-) GO D!!! :-)
I'm tired and my brain's going a million miles an hour even though there's an imaginary vice on my head. No homework completed tonight (surprise!). I'm going to get off here. Oh, I got all the Character Reference Letters completed today for Older for her court/sentencing tomorrow. I really hope all goes well and she just gets probation. She's doing SOOOO AWESOME! :-) Alrighty, really going. Pray for court tomorrow!
Thanks for reading about my psycho life! :-P
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I hate to read this, but I think you're doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI always found dealing with SS more difficult when he was in a relationship with a GF. Somehow they got these ideas in their heads, they were convinced that they were right and we parents were wrong, and they would try to bully us into agreeing with them. SS would often threaten to come and go from our house as he pleased, with or without our permission, to see his GF. It was like the GF somehow empowered him to be more aggressive at home. He would do anything it took to please her, even if it meant WW3 in our house. I don't know all the answers...just do what it takes to maintain your marriage and sanity!
Hoping things go well for Older tomorrow :)
I am here if you ever want to email or whatever.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the GF not being family. I go thru the same issue with my 21 year old. I love his GF and they've been dating for 5 years but it would be nice to see him every so often at least without her. ;)
You did right to stick by your rules. She wanted to come home, she needs to abide by the household rules. I have always had a rule with my kids that if they embarrass me in front of one of their friends, that friend is no longer welcome back to my house. Now, I'm not talking accidental embarrassment, I'm talking being rude or starting an argument in front of that person. Big things like that. I have held fast to that rule and I have only had to follow thru with it a few times. All of my kids (and stray kids I end up with) learned quickly that this was one thing that was non-negotiable in this house. I always told them that any discussions we need to have about household rules or issues need to be handled in private - preferably in a calm manner. Not that we never have screaming blow outs around here because that would be a joke to even try to convince someone of. ;)
Hope things go well tomorrow and that younger calms down and learns to handle her frustrations in a better way! I'll be thinking of you!
I feel for you. It's always hard when we think that things are going Ok and then something happens that just seems to undo it all. Keep writing if it helps. We're all here for you! - G
ReplyDeleteWow. you are dealing with some huge stuff here, I think you're absolutely amazing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your comments. I love this blogging community! I'm going to try really hard to get online tonight to update everyone on the last day or so. Thanks for all your support!
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