So, all of us stepparents have carried all the responsibilities of being an actual mom without actually being "mom". (or "dad") It's something that's frustrating/rewarding/tiring/great... I think I've been through every emotion (even ones I didn't realize I had) through this stepparenting journey. It's times like these that the rewarding comes.
I was reading Step by Step the other day and Sharon was telling us about SD's date and how she was talking with her about it. Younger and I finally got there recently. Our relationship has been on the fast track for the last couple of weeks. As it stands right now, we're on the fast track for success in our relationship. I even got the "can you help with my relationship" talk yesterday. :-)
Additionally, I heard the three letter word (and 6 letter word) that (most) custodial stepmoms long to hear but rarely do (esp coming into teenagers). I heard Mom and Mother. Today, Younger even clarified when she was talking about her mom to make sure that my friend understood she was talking about her BM, not her mom (me... apparently). It was weird. I'm a little skeptical. It's also interesting b/c everyone's been referring to me as Younger's mom. Even today, my friend J called me her mom. She used to correct people, now she doesn't. It's been an interesting couple of weeks.
So, Younger's having problems with GF. They are trying to work stuff out... BUT, yesterday Younger was on the phone for 4 hours. I understand trying to work on things, but I still think that 4 hours is super excessive. I don't really know how to bring it up. I was on the phone last night too with some different friends catching up, but half the reason I did that was because she was on the phone all night. If anyone has any tips or can help me out on how to approach this, I'd really appreciate it. I don't want to start an argument, and I know I can be pretty cross when it comes to stuff like that. Plus, she's already pretty fragile today. She's going crazy b/c she had a conference call set up with D today with her and the GF. D ended up being hospitalized (i think she's fine) and GF never even called... still hasn't called since then. So, she's pretty worried and going crazy in her head. :-( You know what... it doesn't matter if this mom's biological or not... this mom can't say anything to make her feel better when her little heart is hurt and confused. I can only be here, listen, hug, and love. :-/ It's a good and crummy feeling at the same time. I'm priviledged that she trusts me enough to ask me for advice/help... but it's crummy b/c I can't make her feel better. :-( BOO!
I'm going to get off here so that I don't have a 400 page blog this time. Sorry things have been so long recently. :-) Thanks for always reading and sending comments. I'm soo sorry that I haven't been on others' sites and commenting... just haven't been able to (sharing the computer).
Gotta go... just offered Younger to do a free write... see if that helps. Thanks for reading!
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It's so sweet that she's calling you Mom :)
ReplyDeleteI hope she can work things out with her GF. Is 4 hours on the phone a big deal if you have a cell? Just pick your battles, Mom.
I am glad to hear that things are continuing to improve. It seems a little strange that she and GF have only been together for 6 weeks or so, and they already need counseling... Maybe they should just break it off, and Younger should wait until she is a little more stable to worry about a relationship.
ReplyDeleteSharon... I understand it's unnecessary... it's just a consideration factor... Maybe even a pet peeve. I haven't gone there yet and am trying to work on things. We'll see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteEvil Step-mom... I think it's a pretty safe bet that they aren't going to make it, but they are both being fickle 12 y/o's. Whenever I talk to her about it, I advise based on "whether or not this works out"... I try not to make it iron clad they they'll work through this crap b/c both of them need a significant amount of relationship maturity before having a real relationship.
That is so lovely! I got told last night by 4yr old Squirt that he wants me to be his big sister, and to pretend to be married to his Dad. Riiiight. Obviously he has a little way to go with defining 'roles' but I suppose its positive! X
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